On Anger and Forgiveness - Part I

Inside my heart there is a wooded glade

I cannot enter with a sharpened blade.

***

Why have all spiritual traditions the world over, each in their own way, taught the importance of forgiveness? And what about anger towards injustice? Should cruelty and injustice ever be forgiven? And how does this concept connect with the Dharma and with the visionary journeys taken with our sacred plant allies?   

To understand forgiveness, we must understand anger. To understand anger, we have to know it well. As well as the eyes of someone we truly love. As well as the taste of our favorite meal, perfectly spiced. Perhaps even better than that.

It is hard to get to know anger so intimately. Because anger is a kind of pain. And our natural reaction to pain is to flee, to numb out or to push it away. 

In the beautiful road Siddhartha Gautama pointed out to us, we always begin with the First Noble Truth.

Suffering and pain exist and they are to be known. And so, when anger comes, we can practice this truth and turn towards the anger. We can, strange as it may sound, love our anger and care for it well. Not because it is somehow better than other emotions, but because this practice allows us to suffer more skillfully and because practicing this truth helps the suffering itself to teach us, to strengthen us, to open our hearts, to transform and to dissolve the suffering, creating space for bright freedom, refreshing as the breeze in a forest of eucalyptus trees. 

So how do we get to know our anger and care for it in this way? How can we listen to it so fully and sincerely and completely, that the door of forgiveness becomes visible? 

As with all forms of suffering, we take care of our anger and hear its fiery message by turning towards it and saying, "Yes. You are here. Welcome.“ 

We recognize that it has arrived. And we engage in practices that allow us to step into the anger's fiery body and hear its message of flame from the very heart of that fire. These practices allow us to tolerate this painful heat, just as a firefighter's suit allows the firefighter to enter a burning building. 

The practices are simple. It is good to commence training in them using small irritations, just as we would start with lighter weights when beginning to train at a gym. As always, they begin with the breath.

Breathing in, we turn towards the anger. Breathing out, we ground the lightning of its power. Breathing in, we draw the anger towards us, drinking it with our awareness, entering that lava with our attention. Breathing out, we continue to ground its raw, wild nature. Breathing in, we feel fully how it burns. Breathing out, we send ourselves compassion - it hurts and that raw pain needs care. 

The breath takes our practice beyond a mere string of thoughts and concepts. It happens in the body and is done by the body, which is always existing in the present moment, wherever our minds may be. So, the breath allows us to experience. It lets us live the anger, to touch it, to make love to it - whatever language works to bring our awareness right here, those are the words that we can use to be, to viscerally feel what’s real and true and present and alive. 

As always, practicing the First Noble Truth is extremely counterintuitive. We yearn to get away from the pain. As always, the Buddha, as well as our sacred plant allies, point us towards moving into pain, precisely as it truly is in any given moment. 

Vigorous movement is incredibly helpful in being able to tolerate the intensity of being with anger. Biking, hiking, rambling, swimming - moving the body quickly and with great exertion allows the power of this emotion to move and to flow through us. This makes working with the breath and staying present to the raw sensations easier. 

Music that expresses the emotion helps tremendously as well. The artist is able to transform anger into beauty. Experiencing that beauty, we find our pain recognized by another. The artist’s ability to tolerate the experience and weave it into the magic of song helps us to tolerate it, to stay with it, to breathe, to experience and to listen. 

We must let go of analysis at this time. We don’t need to figure out the precise ways in which the person who hurt or offended us did wrong or what we should do in return. Understanding is best as spontaneously arising insight, and, especially at the point of greatest anger, we don't have to work so hard to figure it all out. Instead, breathing, moving, listening to music and fully experiencing the body, we simply hear. Through that, we come to understand at a level far more profound than through thought and analysis alone. 

This verb, to understand, has a beautiful form in the English language. We can imagine under - standing, standing under a waterfall of information being given to us by the psycho-biological experience known as anger. (Of course, all emotions can teach us in this manner.) 

The anger will show us where our boundaries have been crossed. It will show us what is not okay. When related to wisely, it will give us great energy and kind, compassionate power, authentic and good strength to face the wrong with sufficient insight and vitality to set things right. 

The trick, of course, is not only to under-stand and fully experience the emotion, but also to not lash out - to not cause pain to others as a way of not having to experience the teaching of this dragon-like wisdom source. 

By breathing with our anger, we give it air and space and attention. As the message is heard and as we move our bodies, the furious electricity is grounded within our being, just like lightning finds rest in the earth with the help of a lightning rod. 

The anger cools. Then the time is ripe to use our verbal faculty, which helps us access functions of more expanded vision. 

This can be done through the process of journaling or talking to a kind and trusted witness - a good friend, a therapist, a mentor. This act is key to grounding the anger further. When it is sufficiently cool, we may wish to share its message with the person who has caused offense, in the wisest, clearest, most truthful and direct manner that we know. 

And that brings us to the question of forgiveness, which is a movement of the spirit that we may wish to perform as a choice whose purpose is our own well-being. 

Is that choice truly useful, truly wise? And, if so, when is it a wise choice? How do we actually forgive? And how does it all connect with the teachings of the sacred plants and with the spiritual traditions of our ancestors? 

Friends on the path, let’s think about these questions next - you and I, together.